Mass Post Pre-2004

That Silly Purple Hat

A conversation:
So you have a boy friend?
Is that good?

Yeah, it’s pretty good.
I like it.

Ok, just needed to know.

Possibilities:
Then I guess that sucks.

Other:
It was just a question.
Just wanted to see your response.

Put anything here.
( I can smell the cigarette smoke.
I wonder why it doesn’t bother me.
No, I like it.)

Can we hang out?

Put anything here.

1999

More of that Silly Purple Hat

Coffee for a hobby?
Oh, a cigarette too?
Mocha’s your favorite?
I guess it’s mine too.

Obligations betray me.
I must not go.
Continue the pattern.
Is this feeling the flow?

There will always be
Another time
That is how it seems
For smoking your cigarettes
And your mocha, with cream?

1999

I’m Not Awake



I’m Sleeping
So don’t wake me up.
The sleepers in my eyes are fine
Right where they are;
Sealing my eyes shut from corner to corner.
I’ve got nothing to do
Just let me lay here.
There is no fear.
I can remember our last conversation about
The clouds in the sky.
I don’t care about the weather.
So don’t wake me up,
I’m sleeping.

1998

Some Purpose

A distance unmeasurable unreachable
Acidic juices rise in the throat
Burning the emotion of nothing
Undeserving and uninvolved thank you
Jesus for dying all along.

Opening the souls of emptiness
Filling completely with loveliness
Lifting inside of self
Dying to my soul, wanting to die
For lack of self-motivation.

A goal seen somewhat clear
Swallowing hard pushes it down
Burning now in the heart
Undeserved and barely involved
Trying to live for Jesus Christ.

True religion is this
To care for the widows and orphans.

2000

Vertebral Response Network

Spinal column displacement
Arching back eases pain
Finding no fault in
Circumstances of life
That create the essence
Of being. Looking past
Yesterday’s failures of unsaid
Goodbyes, distant hellos,
And quiet disdain.
Reaching around, comfort is
Felt in the center
Of the mind as
Vocalization brings ease
To unrecognized displaced pain.

2003

Swear

Satanic sounds, no
Slithering sensation, no
Occultic symbols, Only
Beating of instruments, Only
Vocalizing sinful thoughts. As
Common in our language as
Sucks, blows, bites, and screw. By
Using other words they are wrong, by
Saying other things they are evil.

2003

Tear this page

A tear in my page
Is wisdom here
Am I a sage?

A tear in my page
The whiteness is gone.
Where’s the passage?

My page is torn
It is not whole
As when it was born.

My page is torn.
Not down the middle
The tear of scorn

Now the lines are incomplete
There is a tear in this sheet.

1999

Tear 2

A tear in this paper
Made by a scraper
This is a mess,

Only a scrap left
Brought on by theft
Mixed wtih some stress.

Running out of room
Emptiness a fume
So I can’t write.

1999

Thank you or not

A Shame and a crime
Unknown to myself
Knowing only what I do
Never understanding why I do it
Always knowing that I enjoy it
It is not a word for the thing
Thing is not a word for the action
Action is not a word for the thought
Thought is not a word for my reflection
I reflect on what I do not
Know. I know not what I
Reflect on.

Heathenistic ways create
Another thought for
Nothing will be done
Nothing will be
Atoned for.
Because knowledge doesn’t
Rectify ideas that
Antagonize my soul
Thirsting for something
That I can’t have.

What I can not have
Holding onto abstract ideas
Yet concrete items, is
Not better then holding to
God alone. All will
Fall in to place at the
Giving up of them.
Peace finally.

2003

Tasteless

F@#k f@#k f@#k f@#k
F@#k f@#k
F@#k f@#k f@#k
F@#k
F@#k f@#k f@#k f@#k
F@#k
Sometimes things don’t work out.


9.30.2003