The Game I Won't Play

Competition

Despairing only the moment
Contemplating my thoughts
Hoping that I don’t show it
Dealing with everything in lots.
Pain and pleasure mixed and messy.

Why is black so tempting?
Why has white again left me?
My mouth is shut to this all
My mind is open, you see,
But at a constant lull.

Manic Depression might help
Relieve the stress I have felt.
Manic Depression will help
But it will only make more felt
Immaturity could kill, might help.

Is there a difference between red and white?
Is there something about the night?
Best of both worlds is not for me.
It seems to be for me to see
For others it may be, but not for me.

2000