Tuesday, May 31, 2005

how birds fly

it was snwing. the first storm of the winter. the birds were taken naware and i saw one fall onto the ground in about two inches of snow. he just couldn t take off. he couldnt run fast enough in that snow to jump and get high enough to use his wings. you see, birds fly by using their wings, and when, with a little help , my bird got into the air, he flew far far away!

airplanes are much like that bird- as long as their wings keep them in the air they glide along beautifully and safely to their destination; but if they get tired and come down into the snow in some mountian side, they just give up until they are helped off the ground.

did you ever start somthing like knitting a sweater or playing hte paino and then suddenly drop it for some other intrest? i guess we all have. how difficult it is later to start over agin where you left off.

you see birds fly by flying, by using their wings. if an eagle should refuse to use his wings for a year- or even a few months- he would have difficulty in starting to fly again. it seems to me there is a pretty good idea there for all of us.

when you start something, keep at it. dont give up just becasue you are tired or becasue you want to do somehting else- finish what you start to do and then pick up after you put your playhtings away in the proper place.

the sunday school is where you learn to live on a high level with jesus . rememebering that birds fly by flying so speaking kind words, living every day with thoughts of jesus leading you forward on a high level and keeping you up there, and at making the following words your promise to jesus.

"i will follow thee , lord."

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Dreaming

I had another dream, but all i can remember is the circus, reptiles, the worship band, and some talking going on.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Seperate

Last night i had a dream. It gave me feelings; maybe that's why i think it is intresting. sometimes ithink a dream was fun or weird or just ridiculous. but usually i doint remmeber feeling particular emotions. this one did.

by now the images are rather vague. but i remember that the first part of my dream was dealing with a trip to NY. i was in buffallo (like the trip i just took). it was a simple ordel. i was going to the movies to see the new starwars movie. my friend was there so we went there together. however, when we went into the theatre there were only two seats open. one was in the front the other in the back. we of course ended up siting apart form each other. i rememebr feeling a distinct feeling of longing and not watching the movie but watching their head with the colored glow fromt hte big screen, as i had taken the set toward the back.

the next thing that was to happen is a zoom to another location. this on e was in a shopping mall. i dont recall everbeing to this mall, but i do recall dreaming about being in it before. well int ehis mall the band bright eyes was playing. they had a concerthall in the mall. well i really cant remember all the circumstances, but i do recall not being able to be with my friendagain, well this time i didnt get invited into teh concert, as they had the tickets and i did not.

i felt deep sorrow at this point and the feeling of seperation. for anyone who has felt that seperation feeling, then you know how this felt and what a crummy way to drem that would be. i woke up at five hoping i could stay up and work; not the case. but i did toss and turn a bit until 9.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Empass

in some ways i feel i am at yet another impass. i was listening to something. it made me feel good. i dont know if this is becasue it appealed to my mind or my spirit. but it said sometihing like:(and i misquote) "dont be temped by those who are excelling past you beyond you, and doing it in their own strength, and in their own time. wait on the lord and you will find yourself in the place he has placed you, wait on the lord. "

it just so happend that the topic on Becker dealt with this last night. (yes becker with ted danson-its still on and still wonderfully sardonic). well mararet ran into a friend who she used to sing with. margaret hd given up singing to be a nurse. he friend had made it big in the singing business and margaret felt she had wasted her life her time. but as a nurse she was touching lives daily and the Dr. was lost without her.

sure this could have been seenas a way for hollywood to inforce the middle class and make them feel like they shouldnt stirve for the millions, but simply do there meanial tasks, but it also displayed the usefulness and purpose in a persons life where they are at the present not where they could have been or could be. what made it dually intresting is that if anyone has seen becker a few times they most likely know maragrets faith on the show.

so if i really knew the definition of empass id put it here becasue it may simply be a time that we are existing in the presnt for the present, not necessaily a big change or happenstance that will move us into greater and more wonderful things in our eyes. we may be there continually.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

As Good As I Can

I'll try to put this together as good as i can without editing and such.

the people we see everyday should and can be the reason that we wake up everyday. today i was being a bit bothered by some people in class. the kid who wears his hat backwards and lens back inhis chair and talks during class. the girl he talks to who is very fakely tanned and asks questions like how many pages in a 400m level class. the other girl that talks and seemingly asks ridiculous questions .. those common sense questions. suddenly i thought of the owl. somehting ive taught a couple times myself but dont always rememebrer.

it will be harder to illustrate here since i cant draw. but picture a drawing of an owl. with 134 feathers, light brown and dark brown on the back, and whitish on the head. it has talons that are black, and yellow and black eyes. its beak is small and symetrical. that is the drawing of an owl. if your drawing doesnt match this it is a lesser owl, or not even worth being in the owl catagory. that is often how we view others in comparison to ourselves or how we think the ideal person should be.

this is how i want to see the owl.

maybe a curved line and a dot at the top of the line. none of the details that defined the drawing before, but i can still see the owl in the curved line and dot. why? becasue i want to see the owl, this owl can assume many forms and if you draw it it will be equal. this is how we can view people.

after remembering the owl i looked at my classmates and tweacher and smmiled at them. but why did i smile at them. if you dont know the answer i do.

i loved them. they were people like i am. not with hats or names or clothes or colors, but people in the very basic form. and i loved them for it. i love them.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Your Weight

have you noticed that in subway stations and in many public places there are one or two of those penny weighing machines? abd very often someone is standing on one of them! people seem to like to be weighed.

your weight is what you can balance, without using any outside pressure like someone putting his foot on the scales.

the weight of your musckles is designed by how much much you can lift! how much work you can do.

it seems to me that the true weight of a dollar bill should be, how much it can buy.

you have a heart. i dont think it has ever been weighed on one of those penny scales! but i believe god weighs it by the amount of kindness and love it can balance. being big-hearted or light-hearted does not refer to scales.

what is the weight of your voice? you have heard people say," what he says carries a lot of weight." of course the meaning is that he is very influential and people hee and obey his counsel. the words of jesus, indeed his whole life, were like that. jesus' life canonly be weighed byt he love and service that he gives to thew world.

your true weight is measured not only in terms of pounds, ounces, and grams but much more it is measured by service and character and your influence for good.

"let me be weighed in an even balance."

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Somethings in NY

  • Went to a wedding
  • Saw Back to the Future III
  • Saw old friends
  • Saw water fall
  • Rode a bike
  • Saw my friend
  • Was healed
  • Got Burned
  • Got Poked
  • Had Icecream
  • Ate Corn on the Cobb
  • Saw cute kids
  • Saw a billboard that said this:

"Abstinance is easier! Condoms don't protect your heart."

Monday, May 02, 2005

Slaying People

Those in religious circles may know the term "Slain in the spirit". Well I didn't die when this happened to me, so I thought I would look up the meanings of slay in the dictionary. this is what I got:

slay Audio pronunciation of "slain" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sl)
tr.v. slew, (sl) slain, (sln) slay·ing, slays

  1. To kill violently.
  2. past tense and past participle often slayed Slang. To overwhelm, as with laughter or love: Those old jokes still slay me.

It seems that this term is a slang term to represent an overwhelming amount of god’s presence in the human body. Here is my experience:

I was being prayed for by a man I knew had prayed for people and that while he was praying for them they fell over. I knew it was possible. This hadn’t happened to me since 1998 and I can barely remember the instance it was n a dark church with ethereal music and about a crowd of 130 people. This time the man prayed over me in a group of 10 people with florescent lights blasting our eyes. I kept my eyes open the entire prayer and was mostly looking into his eyes, at times looking down at my own body.

He prayed for my and stretched out his hands; one toward my forehead and the other toward my chest. He was praying for an infusion (anointing) of the god of the universe. Just several seconds into the pray I thought that he was touching me and pushing both my chest and head, but after looking up and down I saw there was indeed a gap between us. This was the initial thought that got me thinking that I was about to be “slain”.

Suddenly I felt a rush throughout my body, almost like a small surge of energy, as if all the chemicals in the body were being super charged. He asked another guy to stand behind me.

In my mind I was thinking two things. One was that I was not going to fall over for any man praying for me, and that no one was going to push me over.(I double checked to be certain he wasn’t touching me-he wasn’t). The second thought was that if the god of the universe was going to meet my physical body I was more than willing to have this happen. I resumed looking at the person praying for me.

At this point I felt my legs buckle and start to shake a bit. I thought “oh shit” –not in a bad way. I began to muster the strength in my body to continue to stand, slightly bending my knees in case I had them locked prior; this would increase blood flow.

The person praying for me said accept it; in my mind I was totally accepting god’s presence. Then he said there is; I checked again to be certain he wasn’t touching me; he wasn’t. I fell backward. Body quite straight, not limp at all.

My first reaction was thinking god. I was looking up at others and the florescent lights as he continued to pray for others. I thought that was great god thank you for your presence and what you are going to do; now I’ll get up. But I couldn’t.

My body was not responsive to my minds commands. In about 10 minutes I was able to inch my legs into a bend position as I lay on my back. Another 10 minutes I could lift my arms and turn my head. In another ten I rocked my self up to a squatting position wrapping my arms around my legs to keep me up.

I was happy and energized, but my body seemed to be restarting like a computer, like a slow computer. Eventually I made my way to a standing position and the only physical effect I could feel was that the sore neck I had earlier was nearly 70% better, thought eh prayer had nothing to do with asking for my neck to get better.

My synopsis is that god is real. He is powerful and if he meets a person with his presence there is going to be a change in the physical world.