The Exit

So, I was listening to this band called Lydia. They have this one song called "The Exit". Some of the lyrics go.


"I've just been sitting here counting ghosts.

And you look scared again.
Just sing it out loud, it'll sound like this:....I don't hang this cross for him,
I hang it for my mother's grin.
If I wasn't so far away,
I'd ask my pops if he's free today.
But everyone, everyone here looks like they're on their own."






It's one of those songs, one of those bands really, that makes you think about your past and maybe what is going on right now, why you did what you did, the things you'll never get back, the things that won't happen again, how good your life is now; some basic life contemplation. I started thinking about life. There are hundreds of people that I've known, hundreds that I have been good friends with, hundreds that I don't talk to anymore(i.e. there isn't time, we don't have similar interests anymore, the conditions aren't right, we forget). This all made me think two distinct thoughts that are parallel but not the same. One is that I've known a lot of good people, that have meant a lot to me, that have effected me; that I will probably never meet again (due to the above i.e.). The second thought is of the people I know that i talk to briefly or minimally; maybe i don't say everything i could say to them.






I felt like doing a romper room, without the mirror, listing the people i will never have contact with again, but that have effected me and that i have thoughts of periodically; who i ask God to take care of.






There are the people from high school; we all spent so much time together. We experienced so many things together; became who we are today in part by our interactions with each other. (4 years)






There are the people from Elim Bible Institute all of whom I grew closer to as I saw who i was in Christ and became who God created me to be; we experienced so many things: miracles, emotional times, frustrating times, and each other. Some of you have impacted me the most. (1.5 years)






True I did attend St Clair Community College, Macomb Community college, and Oakland university; but I don't have one person that I am in touch of now because of those classes. I do have a couple that I think of from time to time. (7.5 years)






It's funny how time doesn't necessarily determine closeness or meaningfulness in relationships. For instance, I an closing in on 12 years with the non-profit that I work with. Nearly all of the relationships that I have with the people that i have worked with over the years, even for 12 years, is purely professional; we are not friends. There are some exceptions, that I am grateful for.






Then there is the Blue Water House of Prayer; the musical/prayer group that we traveled around the thumb of Michigan with playing at different church congregations weekly for about 7 years. Some people we came to be very close with. Some people we drifted apart. Some people we never spoke to again. some people we can pickup right where we left off. It's always different when you are meeting people in times of heightened spiritual awareness and emotionalism.






The hundreds of young people, kids in trouble, homeless people that I have met, tried to help out and loved are mostly passerbyers. Some I know for a day some for a few years, but non have really been a permanent connection, but they have effected me; for better or worse. I hope I've had an effect on them. You have to do whatever you can for each other.






Now there's family, whether they are blood or someone you call family, because of some past experience or your feelings; i'm very glad that we have made it a habit or tradition to end all of our phone calls and meetings by saying "bye love you god bless you". Even though sometimes it is said so quick only we know what is being said, it is still meant and means.






What I am seeing and saying is that people really are the most important aspect of this life. There are people who commit horrible acts, people who are miserable, people who love everyone, people who need people.










Some of Lydia's other lyrics (though I don't know what they mean, they make me feel like this blog):


"It's still not quite the way it was

But you promised me this is love

So stay and watch the hospital

That's just across the street

From your apartment balcony

I'll never ever leave there

I'll never leave




Oh, no one is watching now

Sing like you just might drown

But always come back home

'Cause I never got to see you once more, no

I guess that's all I wanted

Yeah, I guess that's all I needed"

Why I don't need cable TV

Just had a heartfelt powerful conversation with a young guy. A 22 year old black guy who grew up in Detroit, has seen, a couple friends shot, never had a father, now lives in Mount Clemens in low income housing. 
He recently got his CNA certificate and is working at the DMC.

He asked me for some information to help someone who had been a victim of domestic violence.
First, he told me a story about something that lead up to his coming to ask me where to get help.

His girlfriend, whom he is faithful to and helps take care of her 6 year old daughter, has a friend who has a 3 year old son and a boyfriend. This girl comes to his girlfriend saying she left the 3 year old with her boyfriend and now he cant find him. She is bruised and bleeding a little bit. So the 22 year old man goes with his girlfriend to the house to ask the boyfriend where the boy is. The guy says that the grandma stole the boy.

They are about to put out a missing person/ kidnapping report into the police when someone gets a hold of the grandmother. She says she stopped by the house and say the 3 year old was hurt so she took him and called protective services. After verifying this with CPS the 22 year old talks with the boyfriend who said the grandmother took the 3 year old. The guy says that he doesn't know what is happening and still says the grandmother is trying to take the 3 year old.

After some arguing it comes out by the girl who was bruised and bleeding that the boyfriend is the one who made her bruised and bleeding. Just then she gets a call from CPS about the report and her 3 year old. It is officially reported that the 3 year old has 3 broken ribs and some other bruises and reportedly done by the boyfriend who also beat up his girlfriend. This is when the 22 year old says to the girlfriend, leave him and come with us. She starts to leave with them and the boyfriend tells her to stop. She stops, but so does the 22 year old who came to talk to me. He turns to her and tells her to get in the car with his girlfriend. He tells me about his inner turmoil about getting a good job and doing well in life and how something little can mess it up. 

Once the girls are in the car he tells the boyfriend that he is "not cool" beating up his girlfriend and child. He then makes his decision; to beat the guy up; but not to kill him. 

This was two weeks ago. The girlfriend is living with them and CPS still has the 3 year old. A few times since then the 22 year old has gotten in his car to beat the guy up again, but chose not to but instead encouraged the girlfriend to press charges, which she did. 

I gave him some advice and encouragement; he gave me some hope.