Watchman Nee Says

"to preach the gospel is purely a matter of having the outward man broken so that the inward man can flow forth and touch others."

"salvation comes when our spirit touches another's spirit."

"for the outward man to be broken, a full conseration is imparative."

"what we experience daily , at home or school or factory or on the road, is ordered by the holy spirit for our highest benefit."

"until the day comes when all these things are destroyed, you do not know perfect liberity."

"this is the beginning of the drustruction of the outward man; when you are no longer to trust yourself."

"you need not only to be built up; you need also to be destroyed, to be delivered of all the many things in your life that cannot be brought over into eternity."

"what we are, we cannot but help reveal."

"beloved, god's full intention requires that our spirit be released."

"we live not in fleshly wisdom but in god's grace."

"meekness is a sign of brokenness."

"approachable... he confesses his sin readily and sheds tears freely."

"alert to his enviroment... such a one will not be dull to others reactions."

"one who is not broken can hardly be helped."

The words of Watchman Nee...maybe we could make some blessing cookies to sell at the christian bookstore....ha"

I've Been Reading

Apparantly I've been reading alot. Here are some quotes from someAphra Behn plays I've read recently. Keep in mind these were written in the 1700's (nothing is new under the sun).

"coinstancy. andwouldst thou have me one of those dull lovers who believe it their duty to love a woman til her hair and eyes changfe color, for feaar of the scandolous name of inconstant. no, my passion, like great victors, hates the lazy stay, but having vanquished,prepares for new conquests."

"desire knows no time like them present."

"a wife?! have i no conscience, no honour in me? preithee belive i would not be so wicked.
no, my desires are genorous, an noble, to set thee up that glourious thing, that makes mankind such slaves; almighty courtesean.
come , to thy private chamber let us haste, the sacred temple of the god of love, and consecrate thy power."

"ssome are honest and give as well as take."

"do not venture your sweet life for a fickle woman who perhaps hates you."

"i die but to imagine it; would i were ddead indeed."

"-how sir? why thats impossible-
-that was the wonder sir, brecause twas impossible.
-but twas greater sir that was believed."

"where we shall only tantilize each other with dull kissing, and part with the same appetite we met."

"the tempting hope of means to conquer you,
would put me upon any dangerous enterprise,
were i the lord of all the universe,
i am so lost in love,
for one dear night to clasp you in my arms,
i'd lavish all that world, then die with joy."

"what a damned shame this is, that women should be sacrificed to fools, and fops must runaway with heiress; whilst we men of wit and parts dress and dance, and cock and travel, for nothing bu to be tame keepers."

"sure nothing is so bold as maids in love."

"a weedding is a sort of alarm to love, it calls up every man's courage."

"you mayt as well forbid the sunn to shine.
not see you no more. heavens. i before adored you, but now i rave. and with my impatient love, a thou7sand mand and wild desires are buringin. i have discovered now new worlds of charms, and can no longer tamely love and suffer."

"no sir, you do not like me. a canvas bad of wooden ladles were a better bed-fellow."

"That warrior needs must to his rival yeild,
who comes with blunted weapons to the field."

From Another Book I Finished Called WHY?

"God says, "cry out to me, inquire of me. knock and the door shall be open. seek and you will find."

"and shall not god avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them."

"love directed toward god is reflected and expressed by our obedience to his word and submission to his commands."

"patience is based on the scriptual principle of persistance and preserverance."

"all things not some, work together for the good of those who love the lord."

" there for if you are confused , ready to give up, wondering whats going on and what all the turmoil and choas you're experiencing is about ask god, why?"

"tahts why god is not nervous when you are nervous, because he has set your end from the beginning."

"our responsiblility is to line our will up with his will."

"the anointing of god has innate and wonderful ability to soften hearts, break stiff necks, crush pride, and terar down walls of strife and division. this inevitabily will bring sincere men and women to repentance. a repented heart is soft and gentle. gentle hearts are receptive to reconciliation. reconciliation is the hallmark of love. love and forgiveness are the conerstone and foundation that build."

"so why does the heathen seek to divide the people of god? simply put, so that there will not be any anointing. nothing ncan wither upo and dry out fresh spring wel of the spirits anointing faster than strife and discord. the bible says, ' six theings doe the lord hate and the seventh is an abomination' - 'those who sow discord among the brethern. but when we get on accord, seeking wthe iwll of god, he will always, almost without exception, manifest himself."

"uniy evolves around truth seekingbelivers who are committed to knowing the heart of christ. unity brings about the spirits power and anointing."


-i am listening to the cranerries, i just painted my nails.

more more more

"the fullness of god is the fullness of this flesh."

"jesus of nazareth is god himself"

"what we are determines what we get out of the bible."

"if we expect to meet the lord in his word, our thoughts must first be broken by god."

"think of a person coming to the bible with his mind already set. he reads the bible toget support for his preconceived doctrines."

"the most outstanding feature of the bible is that god's spirit is released through thisbook."

"the world cannot understand that there is a spirit in god''s word, and that that spirit can be released just as it is manifested in the prophetic ministry."

"it is only when your spirit cancome out and touch the spirit of the biblke that you can understand what the bible says."

nee

Really Release it

"For whatever is untouched in us will be left untouched in others."

"only if we are accurate and trustworthy can the spirit of god be released through us."

"if in our particular thing we have not been broken by the lord, we can in no wise supply that need to our brother."

"the word of god sys," for out of theabudance of the heart the mouth speaks."

"before god, right or wrong is determined not so much by deed as by the spirit."

For those of who who do not claim to know god or the spirit of god; these past few posts are what i truly beleve as well and it mya in some way enlightne youas to why i am partially the way i am. (at least all good things-well the bad too i guess).

Release the Spirit

without imparted knowledge a brother can only handle souls by his own understanding. if he has a special feeling on a certain day, he will speak to everybody according to that feeling, no matter who it is that comes. if he has a favorite subject, he speaks on it to all who coime to him. how can such work be effective?

no physician can use the same perscription for all his patients. alas, some who serve god have only one perscription. though they cannnot first diagnose people's sickness, they are trying to cure them. in spite of their ignorance of man's spiritual condition, nonetheless they seem to be quite ready to treat every ailment. how foolish to have one spiritual prescription, yet try to meet every kind of spiritual disease!

nee

Wheelbarrows

the dictionary says that a wheel barrow has "one wheel and two handles". it has a box-like body ib whcih many things can be carried from one place to another.

a wheelbarrow has no motor attached to it, neither does it have any horsepower. it is operated by hands of man.

there are three things involved in operating a wheelbarrow. if it is empty there is no difficulty whatever, but if it is loaded-let us say- with six crates of oranges, it becomes quite a trick to wheel the load to its destination. first you have to lift- taking hold of the handles and having the load of oranges well balanced. you will find, if one hand had more lifting weight than the other, tat the wheelbarrow may tip over and spill out the crates. then another important effort must be made- you must push!

when jesus came to the world he talked to the disciples and told them to take the love of god and his message, organized and became themeans by which god's message and love was carried.

but as with the wheelbarrow , you and i must lift; and we muust be well balanced ourselves, filled with christian faith and love, and then push , eargly anxiousto give the gospel to all around us.

more of the release

"as long as the outward man remains unbroken, we will likely find our hands full of things."

"how ofetn the eyes of an ass are sharper than those of a self-styled prophet."

"when by the grace of god upon us we are able to accept the ording of god in our environment, our spirit is released and ready to function."

"his specific purpose is breaking us and releasing our spirit."

"if god's spirit enables us through our spirit to know the condition of the person before us, we can thenimpart the approiate word."

More of the Release of the Spirit

"it is possible that with the outward man unbroken, one's spirit may be inert and unable to function. if he is a clever person, his mind governs his work, if he is a compassionate person, th emotions control his actions."

"these two conditions weaken our service to god."

"no matter how many people you can attract i\ with your thoughts and emotions the result comes to nothing."

"your best thought, your best emoton cannot make people live."

"when in regeneration we recieve our new spirit we receive god's spirit too."

"thank god that inasmuch as you allow people to contact yoour spirit, you allow them to contact god."

"conducted-carrier- everyone who has recieved grace has the holy spirit dwelling in his spirit."

watchnam nee

The RElease of the Spirit

Here are some quotes from the latest book I've read.

"anyone who serves god will discover the great hinderance to his work is not others but himself."

"ordinarily they shouldbe enabled by the exercise of their spirit to know god's word, to discern the spiritual condition of another, to send forth god's messages under anointing and to recieve god's revelations."

"the aim of the lord is to destroy the outer man."

"the cross must destroy all that belongs to our outward man- our opinions, our ways, our cleverness, our self-love, our all."

"become transparent"

"let us remember that the one reason for all misunderstanding, all fretfulness, all discontent, is that we secretely love ourselves."

-more to come later!

Sounds you cannot here

science books tell us that there are many sounds which nobody can hear. many insects talk beyiond the range of the huuman ear.

you can see sound sometimes, when you cant her it. put some tiny iron fillings on a peice of paper, then hold a magnet beneathe the particles of iron fillings , and as you move it backa and forth watch the particles hit together and form various patterns. can you hear them hit each other? no!

there are sounds you cant hear but you can feel - whent he church organ is playing you sometimes feel the pew vibrate just a little. it does happen, and the notes that make it vibrate are so low in the bass sectioon that you cannot hear them.

you never heard a bat sing; in fact the voices of many insects are too shrill to be heard by human ears. but these all seem to be able to hear us! any slight sound we make mseems to startle them.

isnt our relationship to god in prayer something like that? he hears our prayers whether we speak words or silently think them, and he answers, we may be sure of thast.

he answers not to our ears but he truly speaks to your conscience and mine, distrubing us, telling us what is right and what is wrong.

he surley speaks to our hearts and minds telling us clearly that love is better tha hate. that we should be kind and considerate toward one another and always trustworthy. thus did jesus grow , not physically , but also mentally and spiritualy - in favor with god and man.


thoughts like these come form john sargents book form 1960

Baby Food or Meat

I was praying today in the sun. I thanked Jesus for his death and ressurection, then for his body over coming death. I was prompted to stop. Something inside me said "no". So i started again and thanked Jesus for his death and for his spirit overcoming his body. This brought joy to me and an affirmation inside rather than a "no". For we once were dead in the body and now are alive in christ.

maybe both.

Something I Should Know

I wish i could be compelled to write on somehting i have a great grasp on. Freedom. what does it really mean to be free? obviously to be unrestrained. so what restrains us. for each person it is diferent. we have to examine oursleves or ask god to reveal it to us- one may be more intresting and harder than the other, but whatever restraints each of us will be different. you may restrained by your lack of emotion... another may be restrained by there overflow of emotion. you maybe restrained by your lack of time... someone else may be restrianted by their poor time manaegemnt.

it is important too to understand the differnce between what is restraining us and what we feel is restraining us from our freedom. we may feel restrained by some laws in school systems that do not allow the promotion of one religion over another, however we are not restrained until we do not promote the religion we want. if we do promote it then we are not restrained. there may be consequences for freedom.

if i declare my freedom but do not do anthing , any action, that shows that i am free i am still under retrain, even if it is the restrain of myself. with this acknowledged...

where the spirit of the lord is there is freedom. we can be where the spirit of the lord is and not be free. why? becasue to use an analogy, god has unlocked and open the cell, but we must still walk out of it. god is in the business of relationship not possession.

so to be free from sin (in daily life, not the righteousness already inplace by christ in us) means to move form the cell that puts our dependance in sin. there is no good thing that sin does for us that god has not provided a perfect resolution for. people use sin to cope with life, to feel-either good or bad, and to creaste a sense of self. all of these are solved in christ. the holy spiriti is our comforter. the spirit of god can alter and create senses of feeling within us. and in christ we find oursels in him as we lose ourselves.

one final thing. god spoke to create the world. if you arent acting in the freedom god has given you then speak first..the creationcomes after. just say "i am free". (you might have to say it untilyou let yourself believe it).

Tickets for a Prayer Wheel

One thing we've got plemty of
here on the continents
is soil. Out of the soil
the plants are taking substance, edges,
like a tomato moving on its stake,
ten punds of tomatoes, and the ground
blowing them up like balloons.
We walk on the soil
here on the continents
among the plants, and eat.

You tell me your dream
and I'll tell you mine.
I dreamed I woke in a garden.
Everywhere trees were growing;
everywhere flowers were growing,
and otters played in the stream, and grew.
Fruit hung down.
An egg at my feet
cracked, opened up
and you stepped out,
perfect, intricate lover.

let the phonering,
seal a typed letter,
say to the girl in the courtyard,
"I never saw him before in my life,"
call a cab, pull on gloves,
and leave. And leave you,
and leave you with the bill.

I love with my hand, not my heart.
When i draw your face,
my fingers trace your lips.
Crossing a page, my hand keeps
contours; I know that art
isedges.
I touch when I type.
With every finger's tip
I travel the weave of the given.
Hand me a pencil,
cut off my head,
and I will draw you heaven.

-Annie Dillard

Don't Get Me Wrong

I believe that love is great, yeah, even the romantic type. In fact I'm an aweful "romantic" in my head, though not everyone sees it expressed. But I need to share these lyrics.

Perfect Sonnet Lyrics



lately i've been wishing i had one desire
something that would make me never want another
something that would make it so that nothing matters
all would be clear then

but i guess i'll have to settle for a few brief moments
and watch it all dissolve into a single second
and try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line

because that's all that you'll get
so you'll have to accept
you are here
then you're gone

i believe that lovers should be tied together
and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
left there to drown
left there to drown
in their innocence

but as for me i'm coming to the final chapter
i read all of the pages and there's still no answer
only all that was before i know must soon come after
that is the only way it can be

so i stand in the sun
and i breath with my lungs
trying to spare me the weight of the truth

saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror
you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever
now you're laying in a bathtub full of freezing water
wishing you were a ghost

but once you knew a girl and you named her lover
and danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summers
but autumn came, she disappeared, you can't remember
where she said she was going to

but you know that she's gone
because she left you a song
that you don't wanna sing

singing i believe that lovers should be chained together
and thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
and left there to burn
left there to burn
in their arrogance

but as for me i'm coming to my final failure
i've killed myself with changes trying to make things better
but i still ended up becoming something other
that what i had planned to be

allright!

now i believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
and laid entwined together on a bed of clover
and left there to sleep
left there to dream
of their happiness

Maybe I'm the Fool

I wrote something tonight - played it too.

Scab

<>Heath 4.1.05

Taking it apart again

Taking all the pieces apart

Taking all the world apart again

I’m the disrepairer

Taking things apart

I’m the disrepairer

Taking things apart

He said we’d be repairers

Builder of the broken walls

Repair of ancient cities

For people to dwell in

He said wed be repairers

Repairers of the broken cities

He said wed be repairers

Repairers

So again today

I took everything apart

Took it all apart

I was left with what I started

They can call me the disassembleer

They can call me the disrepairer

They can call me the disassembleer

But they should know better

He said I’d be a repairer

Builder of the broken walls

Repair of ancient streets

For people to dwell in

He said we’d be repairers

Repairers of the broken cities

He said wed be repairers

Repairers

Why do I take everything?

To its beginning pieces

Take the little parts

Till there’s nothing left but the start

Why do I take everything?

Take it apart to little pieces

Why do I take everything?

Take it apart till there’s nothing left

Christ’s body was broken

Split into many pieces

Many pieces his body damaged

Its disrepair

Its was disassembled

Its disrepair

It was disassembled

The red held it together

The red held it together

The red held it together

The red holds us together

The red holds us together

The red holds us together

The red holds us together

The red holds us together

The red holds us together

He said I’d be a repairer

Builder of the broken walls

Repair of ancient streets

For people to dwell in

He said we’d be repairers

Repairers of the broken cities

He said wed be repairers

Restorers

Hold me together with your red red blood

Hold me together with your red red blood

Hold me together with your red red blood

Lord hold us together

Lord hold us together

Lord hold us together with your blood