The Only Division in Humankind

See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don't know God, so they don't understand that we are his children.

I was Entertained...

I was entertained by a movie tonight. But I was more pleasently entertained by the dream I had during my maybe 4 probably 3 hours of sleep last night. I had been fasting for a day and worshipinf for about 4 or 5 hours of the day. Over all I could feel the presence of God and He was filling me up. I could smile in him. Well, I slept on the hard floor in a sleeping bag and dreamed.

I dreamed that my brother and I were at an Ani Difranco concert. There were about 40-60 people there. She was wearing a gray tank top. She had some seashell necklace on. Her hair was short, about and inch long , maybe slightly more, and it was in disarray. The place was mostly darkened the stage was lit by bluish and red-ish light and a whitish one on her and her acoustic guitar. It was not plugged it.

It was a concert and she was playing her normal songs, but what was different was that the words were projected on the wall behind her. The audience was singing along (which happens at her concerts anyway). And she was smiling. She sand a new song, I don't remember much but i remember that it had a line in it that said "he hung on a tree for me".

This made me smile. I could tell her audience was uncomfortable and they were not used to hearing this in a positive light spoken from there feminist manifesto, musician fem fatal. She was bowing as it ended and began to strung another song. The words were projected on the screen though I don’t remember her singing them. It was “Holy, holy, holy Are you lord God almighty”. Now I was really smiling. I went off to find here as the crowd dispersed. It was a small place and a rather open atmosphere. No one was around but the crowd another band member, some crew wrapping up cords and playing with the sound (all dressed in black).

I eventually found here and didn’t know what to say to her. I said hi she said hi. We smiled at each other. She seemed to be in a hurry but seemed pleasant. She walked on and I lingered behind. She was taking an escalator down to another floor, which seemed to be an airport. I followed behind getting on the escalator. She must have been moving fast because I quickly stepped down the moving stairs and she was still ahead.

When I reached her, we were in front of a table where someone was signing books there was a line of people. I saw a girl about 12 with long brown hair and an older gentleman who was about bald and wearing a green-ish polo shirt.

She was stopped and I told her I liked her new song and especially the last song that she sang. She told me she had gotten saved and that she was a Christian. Those are the words she used “saved” and “now I’m a Christian”. I smiled. She smiled. I thought who am I to talk to her she’s like a celebrity.

The scene shifted to a room, seemed to be an apartment, not sure why. The walls were painted a rustic red, the ceiling an off-white. A small window with a glare of white and a blue backdrop was behind her. She was still wearing her gray tank top and the necklace, but seemed to have some thing red on as well maybe another necklace or bracelet. There was a green plant with large leaves in a pot on a wooden end table in front of the window. She said “I like Jesus now”. I felt happy. That’s how it ended.

What is the 30 Hour Famine?

The 30 Hour Famine puts hands and feet to your desire to help students live a life of Christian compassion. It will unite youth group members like never before. And the impact will last long after the Famine event is over. It can be the spark that fires up a person for a lifetime of reaching out to neighbors in need, whether they're across the street - or around the globe.

How does the Famine work? It's really quite simple. First of all, the materials are provided, free of charge, by World Vision. Before your "Famine Date" (February 25-26, 2005 are the National Famine Dates, but your group can hold yours anytime) youth group members raise money through donors and sponsors to help the millions of starving and hurting children in some of the world's poorest countries, offering them a hope they could not otherwise have. The groups then go 30 hours without food, so that they can have a real taste of what hunger is like. During this time they engage in different activities, from community service projects to volunteer work to study, depending on how each group plans their own event. Afterwards the money raised is sent in to World Vision, and we put it to work in areas like Kenya, Sudan, and here in the United States.

What does it take to help a hungry child? Only $30 a month, just $1 a day, will feed and care for a child. Your group members can start by asking twelve people they know to donate $30 - that's one person for each month of the year. When they've done that, they will have raised $360, enough money to feed and provide necessary care to a child for a whole year.

This year, thousands of groups in more than 21 countries - more than 1 million teens - will unite with one goal in mind: to help children living in some of the most deplorable conditions on earth. Countless lives will be impacted and saved. So get on board now. This can be the single most effective event you're a part of all year to make a difference in peoples' lives. And this means both in your community, and around the globe. Shake things up, and join the winnable war to save kids lives.

We'll be doing this this weekend. If you want to give money to World Vision contact me.

Some Thoughts About Gender

The Term Gender and Sex Are Different

"Just do it" is slogan used by the Nike corporation to sell their specific product, but this saying can aptly apply to various concepts. Judith Lorber's writings would apply the phrase to gender. In her book Paradoxes of Gender she writes,"...gender, like culture, is a human production that depends on everyone constantly 'doing gender'"(Lorber 13). Lorber suggests that each person creates gender continuously by social practices and that gender is rarely seen as a social constructed idea.

Lorber suggests that gender is used in society as a way of maintaining order or organization. Occupations are commonly divided into men and women occupations, production is geared into two categories, even public restrooms are organized based on gender, as earlier in the century they were organized by race. These organizational divisions are in place to construct gender, but a personal influence is also necessary.

Parents teach their children gender as soon as they place them in gender appropriate clothing. Children are taught on the basis of becoming a lady or a gentleman. Thus western society has two gender categories "man" and "woman". It is during an entire life of development that gender is organized and categorized for the individual.

One facet of this social constructed gender are ideas of masculinity and femininity. Femininity or masculinity is ascribed to those with female or male sexual organs respectively, those who do not meet the level of masculinity that society has ascribed deal with penalties placed in order by the society. These penalties range from ridicule using words, violence, or discrimination in the work force. Terms such as "girly man" and 'butch" help enforce societies constructs. Lorber calls this "immediate social pressure"(Lorber 23).

This Is A Blog.

This is what blogs were made for before they were blogs, they were those personal journal pages that people rarely read unless they were a close circle of friends. When other people looked at them they said " who wants to read your journal" (then they could add "dumbf&$k"-but they wouldn't outloud).

Music is on: it says this:

Oh why cant I be what you need a new improved version of me but i'm nothing so good no i'm nothing just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songsof violence of love and of sorrow i beg for just one more tomorrow where you hold me down fold me in deep deep deep in the heart of your sins I break in two over you I break in two And each piece of me dies And only you can give the breath of life But you dont see me, you dont...

I'm frickin ticked off but I don't know why really. It is a few things. Sometimes I feel trapped in this skin, but then when I think it I also think " what else is there?" God gave me this so enjoy it. sometimes this goes on in my head.

And the Music continues:

here i'm in between darkness and light bleached and blinded by these nights where im tossing and tortured til dawn by you, visions of you then youre gone the shock lifts the red from my face when i hear someone's taking my place how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel when all, all that i did was for you i break in two over you i break in two and each piece of me dies and only you can give the breath of life but you dont see me you dont..

It keeps going:

i break in two over you i break in two over you, over you i break in two i would break in two for you now you see me now you don't now you need me now you don't

So If you were to take a stab at what is going on , you might not think that I just got done praying and worshiping for nearly two hours with me and God. I started with "jesus lover of my soul" and ended with "jesus what's this f&$kin maze for?" I am kinda waiting for the answer, but in part I know it and in part it is a multi compounded question which is derived from trying to understand the definition of "this maze". It is surely more than life, far far far more.

And the music goes on:

Stalling meansToo fucking scared to create

I laugh outloud again when i look over and see the clock says 222. I know what this means maybe someone else does. I'm done...

It's not:

Helpless isn't the right word but it's the first that comes to mind,There's worse things than being unknown,

A Real Patent?

Verification for human sales transactions Patent: BAR CODE TATTOO
United States Patent 5,878,155 Heeter March 2, 1999
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Method for verifying human identity during electronic sale transactions AbstractA method is presented for facilitating sales transactions by electronic media. A bar code or a design is tattooed on an individual. Before the sales transaction can be consummated, the tattoo is scanned with a scanner. Characteristics about the scanned tattoo are compared to characteristics about other tattoos stored on a computer database in order to verify the identity of the buyer. Once verified, the seller may be authorized to debit the buyer's electronic bank account in order to consummate the transaction. The seller's electronic bank account may be similarly updated.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Inventors: Heeter; Thomas W. (55 Lyerly, Houston, TX 77022) Appl. No.: 709471 Filed: September 5, 1996 Current U.S. Class: 382/115 Intern'l Class: G06K 009/00 Field of Search: 382/115,116,124-127,100,128,133 348/77,15,161 209/3.3,555 356/71 340/825.34 235/379,380,382
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
References Cited [Referenced By]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------U.S. Patent Documents3584958 Jun., 1971 Miller et al. 382/126. 4597495 Jul., 1986 Knosby 209/3. 4805223 Feb., 1989 Denyer 382/127. 4995086 Feb., 1991 Lilley et al. 382/124. 5633947 May., 1997 Sibbald 382/124. Primary Examiner: Kelley; Christopher S. Attorney, Agent or Firm: Casperson; John R.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Claims
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is claimed is:
1. A method of human identification to facilitate electronic sale transactions comprising the steps of: providing identity information about a purchaser on a storage medium, providing skin marking invisible ink, applying said invisible ink to an appendage of said purchaser to form a tattoo on said purchaser, storing characteristics about said tattoo on said storage medium to form stored characteristics about said tattoo, and linking said identity information about said purchaser to said stored characteristics about said tattoo.
2. A method of human identification as in claim 1 further comprising the steps of: providing financial information about said purchaser on said storage medium, and linking said financial information about said purchaser to said identity information about said purchaser.
3. A method of human identification as in claim 1 further comprising the steps of: providing financial information about said purchaser on said storage medium, and linking said financial information about said purchaser to said stored characteristics about said tattoo.
4. A method of human identification as in claim 2 further comprising the steps of: scanning said tattoo on said purchaser with a scanning device to obtain scanned characteristics of said tattoo on said purchaser, comparing said scanned characteristics to characteristics about other tattoos found on said storage medium in order to determine if said scanned characteristics match said stored characteristics about said tattoo on said purchaser stored on said storage medium, and only if said scanned characteristics match said stored characteristics then providing said linked identity information in order to verify the identity of said purchaser.
5. A method of human identification as in claim 4 further comprising the step of: only if said scanned characteristics match said stored characteristics then providing said linked financial information in order to verify that said purchaser has sufficient funds to consummate a sales transaction.
6. A method of human identification as in claim 5 further comprising the step of: only upon verification that said purchaser has sufficient funds to consummate said sales transaction then modifying said stored financial information about said purchaser to reflect a consummated sales transaction.
7. A method of human identification as in claim 3 further comprising the steps of: scanning said tattoo on said purchaser with a scanning device to obtain scanned characteristics about said tattoo, comparing said scanned characteristics to characteristics about tattoos stored found on said storage medium in order to determine if said scanned characteristics match said stored characteristics of said tattoo on said purchaser stored on said storage medium, and only if said scanned characteristics match said stored characteristics then providing said linked financial information in order to verify that said purchaser has sufficient funds to consummate a sales transaction.
8. A method of human identification as in claim 7 further comprising the step of: only upon verification that said purchaser has sufficient funds to consummate said sales transaction then modifying said stored financial information about said purchaser to reflect a consummated sales transaction.
9. A method of human identification as in claim 5 further comprising the steps of: providing financial information about a seller on said storage medium, and only upon verification that said purchaser has sufficient funds to consummate said sales transaction then modifying said stored financial information about said seller to reflect a consummated sales transaction.
10. A method of human identification as in claim 7 further comprising the steps of: providing financial information about a seller on said storage medium, and only upon verification that said purchaser has sufficient funds to consummate said sales transaction then modifying said stored financial information about said seller to reflect a consummated sales transaction.

( I came cross this patent info online)
Some say it's the mark...
Maybe thank God we won't have to carry cash around to trade for things ....

Automatic Autobiography

Heath Achatz was born in Michigan at a hospital in Port Huron. He was born the second child to his parents, James and Sarah Achatz. The year that followed would bring a completion to the numbers of the biological family. Heath’s family is composed of his afore mentioned parents, his older adopted sister, who is biologically a cousin, his older brother, himself, and his younger brother. All three biological brothers were born in the same hospital and delivered by the same doctor. How do I know these things? I am Heath Howard Achatz.

James Achatz, my father, is what one might call a self-made man. After his father died when he was only sixteen years old, it was his responsibility to care and provide for his other eight siblings, who resided in his home in St. Clair, Michigan. He would go on to finish high school, entrepreneur a drywall construction business and later entrepreneur a family restaurant. Sarah Achatz, my mother, grew up in an abusive alcoholic authoritarian household were she became the glue that held the family together emotionally. She would go on the go into both nursing school and beautician school, eventually opening her own beauty parlor. Later in life, after her and her husbands restaurant experience, she would open her own pie bake shop. My parents, were born into households which placed a great burden on each of them. Their circumstances were set about in the direction of loss and failure. However, I see in them that it is possible, for them at least, to accomplish out of very little, the so-called American dream.

Both of my parents grew up in house holds were prejudice was abound for any race other than those who seemed to be pure white. My father still holds to these beliefs to some extent. My mother does not hold to these prejudices anymore. They did, however, respect, almost revere, the Native American. Both of my parents have began to accept people of other cultures and/or ethnic backgrounds due to their children’s involvements with diverse people groups.

I believe that for the first fourteen years of my life I prescribed to many of these basic racial quotas that they had ascribed to; only those who are white are the true Americans. It was at this age I had my first encounters with African Americans as I played basketball in school. I had grown up in an extremely rural area, the population of my neighbors were white skinned, until I was in 9th grade everyone in my school had been white skinned. Through building relationships with these two dark skinned school members, as I played basketball I realized that my parent’s prejudices were not rooted in truth. As time progressed I only embraced those of other races the more.

The way in which I view race, class, and gender is mostly influenced by my belief in the Bible. This was a text that was written for all men. It was not written by whites. It was not written by any one race in particular. My view of race is somewhat limited. I do not see any feasible difference to judge race, therefore I deem everyone to be of different ethnicity. This ethnicity I define as the country they were legally born in. As an example, my friend, Jeremy Bolak, who is much lighter skin than I, but who was born in south Africa and speaks other languages better than English, and certainly holds different values than Americans, I deem to be African. I was born in America, I deem myself to be American. The distinction that I do see, but do not call race, is the one that the Bible designates, and that is of Jew and Gentile. This is a difference of beliefs, but ones beliefs do not bring inequality, only a difference.

My world view of class also stems much from the Bible’s teachings of class. While, in the Bible Jesus states that we will always have the poor among us, he also says that true religion is helping the widow and orphan, those most likely to be poor. Class ideally is summed up in the disciple’s relationships, where each gave to another as he had need. I do, however, live in America. I see America as a capitalistic society. In a capitalistic society it is necessary to have different economic classes. This is what makes capitalism work, an exchange of money, it seems reasonable some would exchange more money than others. It also seems to me that in America there is little distinction between economic class and social class. It is the economy, which drives the United States. It does go to reason that most status re based upon economics.

Gender is another world view which I derive from the teachings of the Bible. The Bible particularly sets up a relationship between man and women in the account of creation. They serve a single purpose, to serve each other or help each other. I do believe that God also has set a hierarchy in place where marriage is concerned. God’s relation to Israel and Christ’s relation to the Christian church evidences this hierarchy. Outside of marriage, though, this hierarchy does not seem to take effect. The Bible also seems to outline roles for men and women, some of which are culturally based, and can be adapted, and others that are biologically based, and should not be. God did create genders as equals.

Is racism of significance in America? I would definitely say it does affect American people in how they relate to each other. I have had very little experience racism, aside from those views of my father, which I perceive as mainly ungodly. The United States certainly is making progress with the general opinion of race/racism, but I fear there may be a shift, as one race is being accepted, namely the African Americans, anther group is endowed with the racism, namely the Arab Americans. I have little or no personal experience, but society seems to relate his view.

I do not think that I have been discriminated against on the basis of skin color or ethnicity. Two of my more memorable experiences deal with the embracing of myself into other races, one where I worked in an African American after school program, the other when I preached at a Hispanic church. I was accepted, almost celebrated on both occasions. Sometimes I feel discriminated against for being a white middle-class male, but I think that is because I never hear that term in the media, which may be a good thing.

Life in Christ Fellowship

Our Youth Groups Emblem and Name.

See Too Much

So... to read these four poems you have to email me and I will email them to you...


And this too...

Seeing More.

I have four more poems that I wrote in 2004. But... as my brother says- Norton obscenity protector won't let you open the page anyway... so ...


I drew this too.

Drawing

Here is something I drew...

Substance

Is this faith

When things don’t look
Like they should look
Like I think they should be
When things don’t suit me
I still am sure
At least pretty sure
That I can totally trust
That my enemy is my lust
For anything but what
I can’t see and what
Is in an ancient book
And won’t be shook

2004

I Have Another Hole in My Head

Here is a spontaneous post.

A spontaneous poem.

I'm Open Now

The crunching sound
The poping sound
And the metal decoration that
Expresses,
That does not hide
What's inside.
Now I have another hole in my head.


I was listening to Saves the Day. Here are the lyrics...

And now I finally see that the further we go we're only treading ground that we already know.I could write you a song, send you a note, or empty out your trash and buy a bucket full of diamonds buteven the most beautiful of all roses must someday crumble to dust and fade away.It's a certain tragedy.So it's on into the lonely nights and all the rest of it.The empty space between me and the sunken walls and feeling someone's hand around my neckchoking away the life that i have left.And I can finally see that the further I go I'm only treading ground that I don't wanna know.I'll probably hang upside-down from wooden rafters in my home and look at old photos of you.So it's on into the lonely nights and all the rest of it.The empty space between me and the sunken walls and feeling someone's hand around my neckchoking away the life that i have left.I miss the warmth of the summer when we were on our own, but now it's winter and my bones are cold.And now I finally see that the further we go we're only treading ground that we already know.I could write you a song, send you a note, or empty out your trash and buy a bucket full of diamonds buteven the most beautiful of all roses must someday crumble to dust and fade away.It's a certain tragedy.

:/

Ode to ...

Stolen from Keats La Belle Dame Marci

1.
O WHAT can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
At this distance there can be no harms.

2.
O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms!
I’ve yet to encounter all your charms.

3.
I see a lily on thy brow
That I’ve not seen for some years now.

4.
I met a lady in the meads
But on you my mind continuously feeds.

5.
I made a garland for her head
As over your material I reread.

6.
I set her on my pacing steed,
Of this action you need not take heed..

7.
She found me roots of relish sweet
And I dreamed of when we finally meet.

8.
She took me to her elfin grot,
But of you I still didn’t doubt.

9.
And there she lullèd me asleep,
While once for you I did weep.

10.
I saw pale kings and princes too,
Though I’d rather had dreamed of only you.

11.
saw their starved lips in the gloam
My starved lips wanted to have you home.

12.
And this is why I sojourn here
When it seems that you will never be near.

Heath Achatz
4.12.04

I Went to the Mall in December

Time is the justice of the peace

Today the time cannot
Be wasted.
It has been tried by
Footsteps in the consumer’s mall
By walking amid food
Untasted.
It has been tried by many
Mouths savoring any delight
Placed before eyes
Eyes fed
With the consumers of time.

Now a radio.
Now a coat
A new pair of shoes
Perfume and a shirt.
Now a statue
Now a mirror
A new anything
To help us not feel.
To help us not know
What is inside.
To make humans forget
What makes them real
Now a bottle
Now a video
Just give me something o complete the soul.

And time will not bow
To our own whims
It will continue
Its steadfast course
Past history
Past present
To future without remorse.
Time will consume
The lives of the few
The lives of he proud
The lives of consumers
Who are feeding
Their eyes
With lies
With their own homemade disguise.

Heath achatz
12.3.04

Drive Your Car

Park

Put your hand on the cold handle
Open the door of my car
With squeaking hinges let
Out the musty dank air
And duck down your head
Your precious head,
Sit in the seat in my stead.
And buckle yourself in
Beside the column between
The warm bodies within.
Through the window is seen
Everyone else we’ve never met
And the scenery that
Passes us by.

2004

About Blood and Death Equaling Life

Our basis

But he died and for us whose
Lives were purchased
Our own sins saturated in
Open sores festering with
Down pouring blood.

Heath achatz
12.28.2004

living through death

the soaked earth
soaked with the stains of blood
stains of sins from every
season spent self-suffocating
sentient beings sufficiently
sedated from themselves.

We would all wither
With our weak whimsical
Wells of wet red water
Inside of our warm wasted flesh.
If he hadn’t died.
Death is why we live.
Death is how we live.
We live dead.
Decidedly dead.

Our soaked souls
Soaked so thoroughly,
Soothed since sin is severed.
Souls soaked in red solace
Saved above suspicion and
Supported by his sacrifice.

Heath achatz
12.28.2004

It's Real and Active

'THE VISION': A RALLYING CRY AROUND THE WORLD (prophecy)

[BY CAMERON STRANG]

Every generation needs one. A person who sees a wrong in the world - whether it be social, political, spiritual - and decides to stand up and change things. Someone who is at the same time attacked, adored, hated and loved. Someone who is unaffected and simply follows what God is calling them to do.THE VISION[ Pete Greig, 24-7prayer.com]

So this guy comes up to me and says, "What's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this...

The vision? The vision is JESUS - obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus. The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism. They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday. They wouldn't even notice.They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the West was won.They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.They are free, yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.

What is the vision?The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure. Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.A million times a day its soldiers choose to loose that they might one day win the great "Well done" of faithful sons and daughters. Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!" And this is the sound of the undergroundThe whisper of history in the makingFoundations shakingRevolutionaries dreaming once againMystery is scheming in whispersConspiracy is breathing...

This is the sound of the underground And the army is discipl(in)ed. Young people who beat their bodies into submission. Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain."Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ? Can hormones hold them back?Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them? And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking,with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter!Waiting. Watching: 24 - 7 - 365. Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mold them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside. On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate, but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair. With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them. Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.

Don't you hear them coming? Herald the weirdos! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden. And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great "Amen!" from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner. Guaranteed.

[We at RELEVANT urge you to check out 24-7prayer.com and get involved. A revolution is happening. It will change the world.]

Ask Yourself....

What would you say if you weren’t afraid?

This discourse clearly presented
Clearly makes little
Sense as I’ve vented
Onto you a little.
But I hold some in.
I hold back some of
What is within.

It’s crossed me to present
The feelings of the present
Those I tell myself
I do not understand more
Than I do aspects of wealth.
I may only feel lore
Which is my health.

Walking across campus
The breeze swept thru us
And side glances were met
More rarely than I’d wet
Myself since the age of twelve
(I usually don’t wet myself)
I would talk to everyone.

I’ve watched films starring
Angelina Jolie, who seems clearly
To care for all humans and
To see the worth within
Everyone that possesses a
Botched body or soul, those who
Are lame. She has adopted a
Son.

After seeing an interview
Highlighting her, of you
Went my thoughts though
My mind function was low,
More in my heart brought
Tears and that acid when
Strong emotion is fought.

Don’t imagine for a minute
That with me are single
Item in thought is definite.
Like a house completely shingled
Like a dragon with scales
My mind continually rails
With a constant fear.

5.2004

Holding Back...

Prévenir Quelqu'un en Faveur

Hello,
hello,
oh i don't know
I just can't say anything
Not a thing no, no, nothing.
Like i wrote with the keyboard
I now say like i could afford
To have my brains sucked out
By you, oh without a doubt.
And what does this mean
This saying, this scene?
It means something strong
But oh what if I'm wrong.
It tells I'm not thinking
Like if I’d been drinking.
Like when you are flattered
From that heart that pattered
And moved a bit too fast.
That moved for this person, this last?
So what is sucked out
Is fear I’m becoming without.
And what are my brains
But all of these pains
That stop me from you
That won't let me do
What I should
Oh, if i could
It'd be great.
I'd call it,
I'd call it
A date.


Heath
4.17.04

Not How I Feel Today

Pretty Poem

I was going to tell
About some of the hell
Which resides somewhere in the well
Of my soul. Do I dwell
On this within.

Sometimes I want to
Cut myself and do
But not totally through
I’d like to see that hue
The color within.

I’d start at my shoulder from there pry
Diagonally move, I’d cry,
Down my chest high
To the heart within.


Heath Achatz
3.30.04

Words Words Words

Linguistics

Lecture me, lecture me
Put words on me that
Enlighten me.

Work on me, work on me
Do things to me that
Straightens me.

Set the cue, set the cue
Start something up that
Motivates you.

Move in you, move in you
Toward a distance that
Ensnares you.

Heath Achatz
3.15.04

the more I talk to you, the more I talk to you
the more I know you
the more I want you.

Kissing Each Angel to Sooth

It sure is nice
To feel utter joy
At every thought of you
And every image that is similar too.
It is wonderful to smile
Dreaming of the future
And sigh at the present time
And what I know of you.
This feels itself like a rhyme.
Sentimental sick this soft
Wording withering the wild
Hardness hidden here
Between the blood vessels boiling
In insatiable introspection
Of outward obligations
That threaten all though
“Sudden a thought came like a full-blown rose,
Flushing his brow, and in his pained heart
Made purple riot: then doth he propose
A stratagem, that makes the beldame start:
‘A cruel man and impious thou art:
Sweet lady, let her pray, and sleep, and dream
Alone with her good angels, far apart
From wicked men like thee. Go, go! –I deem
Thou canst not surly be the same that thou didst seem.’”

Heath Achatz
4.9.04

It's Only 12 Now (but I haven't decided to sleep yet)

If we could bury ourselves


I realized today why
pretty girls make graves
that either she or I
could turn and walk away.
and I noticed that fear
became a part of myself
when I listened to hear
what came out of my mouth.

sometimes i wonder if
im only filling up the hole
that i'll crawl into as a stiff.
when i'm in that state where soul
seems more important than body
the state where emotions could kill:
when i wish i couldn't feel
at all. when i hate me.

i don’t think of an expensive coffin
ill just lay in my shoveled dirt
from the times where i put it in
when i was holding my breath or curt
and letting it out (or was i puking)
i don’t want to settle in the earth
i'm trying to fight this ring
that i put around myself.

3.22.04
heath achatz

Granted It's 4:00 AM

I am working the midnight the time of day when most sleep,
Except my brother and some night walkers I know.

Granted I just passed the point that tired point at about three AM, where the room shifts
And you can feel the Earth rotating.

My mouth began to speak, more in a whisper.It said "permeate".Then "God permeate".
A couple times. Then about ten times or so.

I was making tea. Not consciously thinking about the camomile permeating the water. But at the same time I spoke "permeate".

I thought I better look up the word. It is 4:00 am; I couldn't rememeber what it meant.

per·me·at·ed, per·me·at·ing, per·me·ates
To spread or flow throughout; pervade:
To pass through the openings or interstices of: liquid permeating a membrane.
To spread through or penetrate something.
One that can permeate.
Todiffuse through or penetrate something permeate transitive senses: to pass through the pores or interstices of.
Spread or diffuse through
Penetrate mutually or be interlocked

I know God created the world with words as far as we can tell. That's the whole meaning there.
I decided to look up the etemology since God has been around along time and check where the word came from. Here are some ideas:

permeable
1432, from L. permeabilis "that can be passed through, passable," from L. permeare "to pass through," from per- "through" + meare "to pass," from PIE base *mei-/*moi- "to change" (cf. Czech mijim "to go by, pass by," Pol. mijam "avoid;" see mutable). The verb permeate first is attested 1660.

I like that idea. " God permeate me. Change me and pass through me."

It's 4:07 now.

I Have 2 Job Interviews

Where I Am Going

The Opening in the sky
Is Big enough to swallow
Me In The epitome of what direction’s essence
Says to me. Sky
Clouded or clear has an opening If
We can perceive the direction It
Impresses on us.
This is where I am
going.


Heath Achatz
1.31.04

Written Shortly After I Got My New Eyes

cordless

I’m composing
I’m composing on a keyboard
That isn’t attached to anything
That is attached to the radio signal
That I imagine is radiating through
Me through my cells causing
Unnatural growth. I’m composing
Cancer

Cells are moving bumping into
Me obstructing my view on what
I should do tomorrow blocking my
Perception of what I am doing now. I
Am pressing, pounding the keys that
Are attached to the keyboard that
Isn’t attached to anything
That is attached to the radio signal
That I imagine is radiating through
Me through my cells causing
Unnatural growth.

Www World wide waste of time dot com
Is wasting my breath distorting my
Mind through its genres being
Pollutants through my newly
Repaired oscillating eyeballs oscillating
At whichever passes before them taking
In the radiation of the screen that pierces
Into my soul. That I imagine is
Radiating through Me
Through my cells causing
Unnatural growth. I’m composing
Can’t hear. Can’t here. Cancel.
Cancer.

Heath Achatz 1.26.04

Enough of that

...................

If You Couldn't Hear All the Words - Here They Are

Emotional attachment

I’ve spent seasons lying here
And dying
Fixed on the one person for a lifetime of
Pain and illusion
That I have placed
That I have put before me
Inside my mind
That I have wasted nearly all of my time
On.
The person that I cannot abhor
The person that I can not help but adore.
Attracted in mind
And body
And spirit
And so f#$kin mystified
By the person that has consumed too many lines
To much of my time
And I would only ask for more
To give it to them who
I love and hate
That I can not abate
With any words
Either kind or cruel
That I can not use any tool
To understand or grasp or define
That wonderful person that will not,
Said we will not ever,
That will not
Let me into her mind.
And over this I have prayed
And I have stayed
Stationary as a slave
On his plantation of life
The plantation of love
That patience that could kill a man
That love so ever enduring
That love that creates this soul of mine.


1.30.05 heath

Fadd9 C6 D9